By Ashlyn Beck | Staff Writer
A contingency of living in a high-stress environment like college is the tendency for people to close themselves off to others. When we feel overwhelmed by life, we keep it buried deep within ourselves rather than sharing it with those around us. There are various reasons for it: We hate feeling weak, we don’t want to be a burden or we’re scared of sounding like a complainer. But we do so at the risk of our own opportunity for social connection.
According to United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, we are in the midst of an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation,” and the cure is the “healing effects of social connection.” Connection is what all of us are looking for, yet we continually allow it to evade us with our refusal to share with the people around us.
The way to find social connection is to share your struggles with others. It’s a terrifying decision to make, but once you do, you find connection and understanding like never before. Almost every time I have been honest about my struggles with others, I have found people who struggle with the same thing. And instead of being weak, a burden or a complainer, I found strength, relief and encouragement.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “People are by nature social creatures. Social connections are important for our survival. When people are socially connected … they are better able to cope with hard times, stress, anxiety and depression.”
Our desire for independence has become self-destructive. Life has become a game where whoever holds out the longest before asking for help is the winner. But what do they win? It’s time to change the rules of the game. We win by admitting our weaknesses and allowing those who love us to fill in the gaps.
According to Unity Point Health, internalizing stress leads to emotional numbness, which in turn leads to higher stress levels — creating a perpetual cycle of stress, internalization and numbness. On the topic, Joe Nemmers of Unity Point Health simply said, “It’s important to stay connected to people who care about you.”
So, stop internalizing everything. Find friends who care about your well-being, and be honest when you are not doing well. Create space for people to be vulnerable, and be vulnerable in return. Offer strength in areas where others are weak, and allow others to be strong where you are weak. Find comfort and joy in the fact that you can’t handle everything on your own, and find true friendship with people who are willing to handle it with you.
