May I have your attention: Drop the ‘pick-me’ label

By Emma Weidmann | Staff Writer

Most college students are familiar with the curse on our society dubbed the “pick-me girl” — a woman who sets herself apart from other women in an attempt to garner attention from men.

You know the type: the woman who says she likes watching football as opposed to icky girly girls who like the color pink and Taylor Swift. The “pick-me girl” isn’t like other women. She’s special. She’s unique.

Allow me to introduce you to another type of woman. “Pick-me,” meet “reverse pick-me” — a woman so against the “pick-me girl” that she actually displays the same sort of attention-hungry behavior. She makes fun of people who “aren’t like other girls.” She calls other girls “pick-me.” Why? Because she’s not like those other women.

If this is making your head spin, trust me, it confuses me too. Thankfully, an alternative exists.

Now that I have your attention, let me say women can do things and hold opinions that have nothing to do with other people, let alone with men. This might be a wild concept for the crowd who believes that each move a woman makes and each word she speaks is part of a broader performance that hinges on how attractive she is to men.

Sure, some of it may be. Every woman remembers her middle school Snapchat filter phase — and trust me, we all had one — and cringes at the thought of it. I’m pretty sure we can all accept that posting multiple filtered selfies a day to your Snapchat story is the definition of begging for attention.

More to the point, I recently wrote a critical review of Taylor Swift’s “Midnights” album. I was subsequently called “pick-me” by several wise and original commenters on YikYak, an app for anonymous posts. Apparently, expressing less-than-glowing opinions on an album couldn’t be coming from a genuine place. Instead, criticism of Taylor Swift, even when coming from a Swiftie, was a desperate cry for attention from men.

I have absolutely nothing against Swifties. I am one. I think a woman’s opinion on Taylor Swift does not have to be an indicator of whether or not she is “pick-me.” Once again, women can have opinions that aren’t about making themselves look cool to men (by the way, who said men dislike Taylor Swift?).

The wild part about all of this is the “reverse pick-me girl” probably thinks calling other women “pick-me” is some sort of display of feminist defiance. However, when you call another woman a “pick-me girl,” the point is usually to make yourself look like you aren’t one. However, nobody wins by pointing fingers, especially when it often comes from the same need for validation.

The answer is very clear. Judgment and mean comments directed toward other women just “aren’t giving” — so to speak. Please give the “pick-me” label a rest.