By Claire-Marie Scott | LTVN Reporter/Anchor
The last thing I want to feel is regret. I think it is a part of human nature. We feel regret when we don’t hang out with our friends, when we don’t study and do badly on an exam or when we spread unkind words about someone. However, regret about not spending enough time with a loved one is far more painful. That is regret that will last a lifetime.
In May 2022, my grandmother suffered a massive stroke. Since that first stroke, she has had multiple hospital trips due to additional strokes and seizures. She now has dementia and lives in a nursing home, requiring full-time care that my grandfather could not provide on his own. Over Christmas break, I spent as much time with her as I could, but our interactions were pretty surface-level and not as enriching as they once were. It truly breaks my heart to see how a once strong and independent woman has transformed into someone who needs help in every way. The most painful part, though, is the fact that a lot of her memory is limited, and she struggles to find the correct words to use.
Also over Christmas break, I was watching the Eras Tour movie and had a newfound understanding for Taylor Swift’s song “marjorie.” In the song, which is dedicated to her grandmother, Swift sings about wishing she asked her grandmother more questions on how to live life. Swift’s lyrics — “I should’ve asked you questions / I should’ve asked you how to be / Asked you to write them down for me / Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt / Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” — struck a chord and reinforced the idea that wishing you had more time with your loved ones is a painful feeling.
I truly don’t remember the last conversation I had with my grandmother before her first stroke. My parents always told me to value the time I spent with my grandparents because you never know when the last time you see them will be. I did, even though I thought it was very cliché. I never would have guessed she would have had this accident so soon. Even though I do value the time I’ve been able to have with her since her strokes, I would do nearly anything to go back and relive those last “normal” moments with her.
So, call your grandparents, visit them and soak up all the wisdom and life stories that they have. It is truly such a gift to learn from the older generations. They give beautiful life advice and have the best stories. Ask your grandparents to tell you their complete life story and family genealogy, and film it or write it down so you have it forever. Treasure every little moment. Don’t wait until they are gone to wish you would’ve been more intentional with them while they were here.
