By Foster Nicholas | Sports Writer
Let’s face it, having a crush is exciting. It’s easy to catch feelings in college, but sometimes it’s hard to tell that person how you feel. When you live with social anxiety, it’s even worse.
For me, a crush is simply a person that’s always on my mind, gives me butterflies and someone I wonder if I’ll ever have shot at dating. At least that’s what my mind continues to internally play on repeat.
A person’s feeling when “crushing” on someone else is nearly synonymous with the feeling of anxiety. Dopamine levels rapidly increase, which naturally creates a sense of excitement and nervousness.
Three things can happen when you have a crush.
No. 1: You “shoot your shot” and things somehow miraculously work in your favor. Let me just say, in my extremely minimal personal experience, this usually is not the case.
No. 2: “Shoot your shot” and come up empty — everyone’s worst nightmare. The unbearable thought of being completely shut down and embarrassed. A feeling that could cause someone without a good sense of humor to transfer schools.
Yes, in case you’ve never felt that way, it really is that bad.
No. 3: The last possibility is probably the worst, and that’s not saying or doing anything. Suddenly there’s a suitcase packed with what-ifs, and that kind of regret isn’t something anybody wants. It hurts more looking back and wondering what might have been if I were to say something and risk entering my name into the transfer portal if things went south.
I want you to understand I’m also wholly oblivious and can misinterpret meaningless kindness. Because of that, it’s even more complicated to say the first three words of this paragraph to my crush.
Yes, that’s about as good at flirting as I am. Pathetic, right? Maybe some of you can relate. I know I’m not alone here.
As much as I want to speak up, even as I write this, I still can’t imagine myself telling this person how I feel.
Sure, I’m a hypocrite. Thinking it’s worse to say nothing while I advise others to “shoot their shot,” when as of this moment I haven’t said anything yet. But hey, that’s what social anxiety does, and somehow it’s a little comforting to know I’m not the only person who battles these feelings.
The worst part about having feelings is that no matter what move I make, it will always feel like I could have done something differently unless there’s a favorable outcome.
The sad reality is that I doubt I’ll tell this mystery girl I like her. Instead, I will continue to battle this anxiety-provoked high she keeps giving me. I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. At least I can write a fine column.
