By Kameron Brooke | Reporter
It truly is OK to not be OK, and it’s even more OK to be open about it. This is easier said than done.
Living openly and transparently leaves you vulnerable and at risk of being judged or rejected by those with whom you share your reality. However, as I have learned recently, it reaps so many more benefits.
Throughout my life, I have always viewed the admittance of my struggles or asking for help as weak. Being the oldest of three siblings, I have always prided myself on being independent, and I have attributed my strength to being able to solve all my problems on my own.
The strength it has taken to be able to admit when I am not thriving has completely shifted my perspective.
The fear of rejection is something all humans face, whether it’s something we realize or not. The reality of it is there will always be people to reject and judge you, and this is something that is out of our control. What we can do is leave everything out on the table; there are people who will accept, understand and try to help you, but it all starts with expression.
I think the society we live in sets an expectation to project an image of perfection and a trouble-free life full of rainbows and sunshine. Life itself is a series of ups and downs, regardless of what is portrayed to the public. We must be grateful for and enjoy the happy moments, because all that goes up must come down.
What comes down will always go up as well, though. So when the gloomy days set in and it seems like nothing can make you smile and you feel a lump in your throat, let it out.
According to the University of Kansas Health System, “When we fail to express our emotions, our brain can often go into the fight-or-flight state. This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies.”
In not acknowledging your emotions, they become stronger. It’s so much easier and more fun to share when you’re winning because it brings praise and admiration. When you allow others a glimpse into your pain, it’s scary, vulnerable and uncertain.
I think this is where the term “oversharing” begins to be used — and quite wrongfully, in my opinion.
According to Oxford Languages, oversharing “is the disclosure of an inappropriate amount of detail about one’s personal life.”
There are definitely aspects of our lives that are meant to be private, and ultimately, the amount that you share with others is solely up to you. However, the term is often used synonymously with the expression of negative thoughts.
I think being able to express the positive and negative equally takes an immense amount of strength. Expression is power; expression is loosening the emotion’s grip on our well-being.
You cannot fix what you will not acknowledge. It is important to learn to sit with difficult feelings and truly face them. These things are what makes the human experience so intricate.
Being a perfectionist and an overall people pleaser has always made it difficult for me to admit when I am not OK or need help. I hate communicating when others upset me or when anything is wrong. However, learning how to be more open with it all has been so freeing.
We have to relinquish the fear of what others will say or think when we express something negative. We have to become more accepting of the fact that life is just as ugly as it is beautiful. Keeping that hidden is fully your choice, but life moves on with or without you.
Tell your story: the beautiful, the ugly, the joy, the pain. There will be people who show up for you, and there will be people who don’t.
At least you were courageous enough to be open.
