By Kalena Reynolds | Reporter
Sex is arguably one of the most taboo topics in society. Whether for religious or personal reasons, many people feel uncomfortable casually discussing it. A survey found that a third of adults feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their partners.
Sex is something the majority of the population will partake in, yet there is still a lack of proper sex education and awareness. Because of this, many people live in fear of their sexual orientation and desires, leaving a problem area for those who rush dating to get married so they can have sex.
Disclaimer: This is not me encouraging anyone to have sex before they feel ready or shaming anyone if they want to wait to have sex until marriage for religious or personal reasons. The point of this article is to bring light to the possible implications of entering a marriage solely because of a desire to have sex and the feeling of being unable to do so beforehand.
Growing up in a Christian church, it was normal to see people date for only a few months before getting married. However, there always seemed to be a common problem revolving around sex that occurred shortly after their marriage. Whether it was a lack of sexual compatibility or one partner being caught off guard by the other partner’s sexual desires, it always seemed like an issue that would have been easy to resolve before getting married in the first place.
Waiting to have sex until marriage is entirely respectable. However, rushing marriage just so you can have sex is not, and I feel that many young couples do this, whether it’s on purpose or not. Marriage is a covenant — not something that should be rushed.
I feel that the main thing people don’t take into account when waiting to have sex until marriage is that it often takes a long time to figure out your sexual identity and become comfortable with it. When couples skip from the dating stage to marriage in anticipation of sex, it can be disappointing when they find out they are now married to someone who might have sexual desires they are not comfortable with or who may want something completely different in the bedroom.
I believe every person should ask themselves two questions in a relationship: Would you still want to be in the relationship if you and your partner could never have sex, and how would you and your partner handle it if you were not comfortable with something they desired?
These are two fundamental topics that lead to a healthier, more compatible sex life — and many people waiting for marriage don’t take them into account. God will not hate you for having sex before marriage, and marriage should not be entered into casually.
I think more young couples would benefit from introspection, looking at their priorities in relationships and religion, and realizing that in some situations, they might be getting married just because of their sexual desires — which, in all honesty, is an extremely tough thing to admit. Having sex in a committed relationship before marriage allows you to remove the pressure and also helps you get to know the person before you sign a contract with them for the rest of your life.
Having sex is OK and completely natural, and waiting to have sex until marriage is OK as well. However, it’s important for everyone to understand that skipping from the dating stage to marriage just to have sex is setting them up for failure.
