I. Bring back coat racks
We’re not entirely sure where coat racks went and why. People didn’t stop wearing coats. When you walk into your classroom or a restaurant after braving the elements, there should be a place to let your layers dry out. Even if there isn’t any inclement weather, are we just supposed to sit on our jackets at Chili’s? This is preposterous. We are calling for coat racks in every classroom. Let’s make this school a little more classy and a little more practical, huh?
II. Embrace mornings
We understand making the most of your mornings is easier said than done, but it can be so vital to the rest of your day. Right after you wake up is typically the most peaceful your mind is all day; you have just let your body rest to feel more confident to take on your day. If you don’t set yourself up for an easy, care-free morning, you are doomed to have a stressful day since you never gave yourself the proper time to ease into it. The morning is when everything is at its most quiet, and, especially in Texas, it’s when the weather is most comfortable. Don’t ruin your whole day because you didn’t start it right.
III. Tip your servers
While it seems so easy, the issue of not tipping servers is a problem that knows no age, gender or credence. These servers work hard, often handling multiple tables simultaneously and literally catering to your exact specifications. They also often get the brunt of the blame for things they can’t control. If your food took a long time, it was likely not your server’s fault. That is called being busy. Also, especially in a college town like ours, your server is likely a student or recently graduated, and that job may well be their only source of income. If things went normal, 20% is still the reasonable minimum, people — don’t leave your servers wanting.
IV. Keep your regional accent
No matter where you go, you only have one hometown. With that comes some special responsibility; you defend it against foreigners, you remember who else comes from there, and you keep that accent. Life should take you all types of places, but you need to remember where you came from because chances are that place made you who you are today. Our journalistic profession encourages broadcasters and reporters to get rid of these accents and sound like everyone else. We want you to embrace where you come from and have such a good accent that people know exactly where you’re from when you first meet them, and you can cringe at their attempt to mock you. So, we say: Drop those “r’s” if you’re from New England, roll them into “w’s” if you’re from New York and stretch out those vowels if you’re from the Midwest. We may be outnumbered while we are here in Texas, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be unique.
V. Waco pizza is the W.O.A.T.
It seems that one of the largest and proudest states in America missed the boat on how to perfect arguably America’s most famous imported food. Smack dab in the middle of the pizza-barren state is Waco, where Baylor students have to turn to Domino’s for a halfway decent slice. We are ashamed to have to deliver that kind of news to native Texans, but no hole-in-the-wall pizza places here stack up to the exceptional standards set by those in the northeast and Chicago. Texas apparently does not understand the importance of the sauce to pizza. Most every slice you pick up here looks like someone splattered some sauce on the dough with a tie-dye tube, lubed it up in a tub of grease, stuck it in the microwave for three minutes and served it. No one wants five bites of their pizza consisting of rock-hard globs of cheese on soft dough with no tomato sauce cushion. If we wanted that, we’d order cheesy bread and let it sit out for a few days. The solution is simple: Leave the pizza in a little longer, make the sauce and cheese ratio a little more even and maybe mix in a brick oven or two. It won’t take much to stand out as a pizza place in Texas. You just have to be average.
VI. Vanilla ice cream deserves more respect
The Barenaked Ladies would be quick to remind us all that vanilla is “the finest of the flavors,” yet it is often not cited among personal favorites despite its prevalence. Vanilla simply does not match up with the flavor bursts found in chocolate, rocky road or mint chocolate chip ice cream. What it lacks in flavor and sex appeal, vanilla makes up for with its versatility. If you get a bowl of vanilla ice cream, you can make it into almost any flavor you want. No other ice cream flavor can blend as seamlessly with chocolate sauce, sprinkles, caramel or any type of crushed candy as vanilla can. Vanilla ice cream reminds us that we should appreciate the simple things in life and the creativity we all have inside of us. Vanilla, you’re still the one.
