My dad told me bringing my dog to college would be a huge mistake. But despite my father’s warnings that my GPA would drop, I brought Bachelor anyway. (That’s my dog’s name, Bachelor. I want to be clear that I did not bring a single-and-ready-to-mingle man with me to Baylor.)
Now when you become a full-time dog owner, weird things happen to you. I guess it’s kind of like having your first child—it’s a learning process, and you end up surprising yourself in a lot of ways. Here are some weird things that have happened to me since I brought Bachelor to college. For those of you thinking about getting a dog, listen up.
1. I’ve Become a Morning Person.
I was never a morning person before, but I really have no choice now. Bachelor needs to do his business at around eight every morning, so that’s when I get up.
I wish I could say that I wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, do my hair and make up, and then take my dog out.
Sadly, that isn’t the case.
What I do is I roll out of bed, put on my glasses, and in all my disheveled hair and stank breath glory, I take the dog out before he urinates in my room. And when it’s really cold, I just wrap the blanket I slept in around me like it’s a jacket. (I call it the “Hobo Chic” look.)
When people see me, they probably don’t think I’m a Baylor student at all, but rather a deranged lunatic, just stumbling along with a cute, probably-stolen dog.
2. I’ve Become Real Comfortable With Handling Excrement
When I have to change my kid’s diaper one day, I’ll be so ready.
3. I’ve Gotten Better at Managing My Time
Super weird, but yeah. I’ve actually gotten a lot better at planning out my day. Since I’m already up, I use my mornings before class to do homework or study. After class, I go straight home because I know Bachelor needs to be let out to potty again. And then, since I’m already home, I try to get as much work done as I can before I take Bachelor on his walk.
It seems contradictory, but the added stress of having a dog is precisely the kick in the butt I needed to be more responsible with my time. It makes no sense, I know.
4. I’ve Spent More Time Outdoors
I thought walking Bachelor was going to be such a chore, but I must say, I’ve seen some magnificent sunsets lately. Who knew Waco skies could be so pretty.
5. I’ve Said “No” More Than I’ve Said Any Other Word
Bachelor is usually a great dog, but he’s only a year old so at times he gets a little hyper. He jumps on my bed while I’m eating and tries to snag bites of my human food. He steps on my laptop—when it’s open, WHEN I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING MY THESIS. He tries to hug my roommates but goes about it way too aggressively.
“No, Bachelor, no! Nooooo! Get down! Stop that! NO!”
6. I’ve Said “I Love You” More Times Than I Can Count
Like I said, he’s a great dog.
7. I Never Sleep Alone
At the beginning, I tried to establish that the bed was my space and the floor was his, but my dog didn’t listen, so eventually I was like, What the heck, fine—you can sleep on my bed if you’d like.
Bachelor keeps my feet warm the entire night, and his face is the first one I see every morning. He is all up in my space, and I love it.
The semester has just start, so I can’t tell you just yet if Bachelor has led me to my academic demise. I’ll let you (and my dad) know after midterms.
But midterms are still pretty far away, so let’s not torture ourselves thinking about them now.