“Alright class, please open your health textbook to page 81 and take a look at the diagrams of the *pause* penis and vagina. You get 30 seconds to laugh.”
Sound familiar? Why is this situation something the majority of us have experienced at least once growing up?
Many children are encouraged to use “pet names” for their private parts, rather than their anatomical names, to make them feel more comfortable. However, this mindset is really causing more harm than good because it leads to children not understanding the correct terminology for all their body parts.
This means that there is a lower chance that they can be protected from sexual abuse and that they may grow up feeling shameful in the natural and normal function of their bodies. Ultimately, this discomfort will lead to grown adults who don’t know how to have discussions about their own bodies and health.
It’s important that we have conversations about anatomy, bodies and the way things function without finding it funny. The more open this discussion becomes, the less awkwardness and social discomfort there will be surrounding this sensitive topic. Especially with children, using the correct terms for private parts instead of euphemisms enhances body image, self-confidence and openness. It advocates for body safety and awareness while also being medically correct if a problem were needing to be identified.
It shouldn’t be embarrassing to call a penis and vagina what they actually are. Doing this helps to avoid confusion over what someone is talking about and prevents assigning different names to genitalia. Making up names connotes the idea that the real name is bad because we can’t call it what it is.
Using the correct terms with our children teaches them not to be ashamed of their bodies. It also lessens the need to laugh when the proper term is used. The ability to be comfortable with body parts is pivotal to self-image and lets children know that private parts are completely normal. Having children be educated on their private parts helps them to know that they are specifically off-limits to others, so we can talk about it in a way that everyone understands.
There is a time and place for these intimate conversations, and the importance of knowing when it is, or is not, appropriate is still valid. However, we need to remove the blemish around the conversation and naming of private parts so that your future children can grow up talking to you about things that you never felt comfortable talking about with your parents. It’s important to remember that everything has a name, and we should use the correct name. Everyone has these “forbidden” parts that children are taught are “funny,” so if you think this doesn’t apply to you, it does.
