By Mary Thurmond | Photo Editor
Sometimes people approach faith like it’s a competition. A verse or passage is read, and instead of seeking to understand it, the focus shifts to proving who is right. When the rush to be right takes over, conversations that could be moments of learning or reflection turn into debates about who can quote Scripture the fastest or defend their interpretation the strongest.
It is strange how easily “iron sharpens iron” can become iron stabbing iron. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” But sharpening should refine, not wound. Somewhere in our zeal to defend our beliefs, it is easy to forget what those beliefs are meant to cultivate: compassion, humility and love.
1 Corinthians 13:2 says, “If I… can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, but do not have love, I am nothing.” You can have all the right answers, all the perfect citations, and still miss the entire point of faith. Colossians 3:12-14 also reminds us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another… And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
I’m guilty of this, too. In conversations about faith or morality, I have felt that rush of certainty, already forming my rebuttal before the other person finishes speaking. The focus shifts from understanding to proving, from loving to winning.
This isn’t limited to Scripture either. It happens in any discussion about ideas, beliefs or values. We continue to cling to interpretations of a text, a theory or even a news story as if disagreeing with them is a threat. And yet, so many people forget that the Bible itself is often open to interpretation. It is full of parables, metaphors, letters and narratives that require reflection and humility. Two of the best readers can read the same passage and come away with different convictions. But too often, disagreement is treated as a failure rather than an opportunity to explore, reflect and grow.
I see conversations with friends or family derail because someone felt the need to be right. One person shares a personal experience, another counters with a “well, actually,” that dismisses the first story entirely. Online arguments often become worse, with comments framed to humiliate or prove oneself rather than build understanding. It is exhausting, and it leaves little room for curiosity, compassion or genuine dialogue.
James 1:19 reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Philippians 2:3-4 adds, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This kind of patience and humility is so difficult in a culture that rewards certainty, speed and the ability to “win” conversations. It is easier to stick to our positions than to sit with someone whose ideas make us uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be right. Truth matters. Knowledge matters. But when the desire to be correct outweighs the desire to understand, we have flipped the order of priority. Conviction without compassion becomes pride. It becomes a wall between people, a barrier to learning, and a way to elevate ourselves at the expense of others.
So maybe the question is not, “Do I know the right answer?” Maybe it is, “Am I listening well enough to understand another person’s perspective?” Or even, “Can I value connection more than certainty?”
We need to understand that loving God is never about always being right. It is about staying humble, curious and open. It is about learning from people we might initially disagree with. It is about holding our beliefs without holding others hostage to them. In the end, faith is not proven by how many arguments we win, but by how many hearts we leave open.
