By Shane Mead | Writer
“Ring by Spring.” While some might say it as a joke when referring to their significant other, it’s a reality for some Baylor students, giving the phrase at least a bit of merit. Some students couldn’t imagine the added pressure of marriage on top of their busy life as college students. However, brides-to-be alumna Stephy Mahoney and Virginia Beach, Va. senior Layne Martin have proven it’s doable.
For Mahoney, it was as simple as being a freshman, strolling through the dorms and introducing herself to people. When she met her fiancé at Penland Hall, they immediately clicked, and the rest of their Baylor tenure was spent together.
“We started dating about three months into the semester, so relatively quick, but neither of us had been in long-term relationships until then,” Mahoney said. “I think something special about that is being able to make all of these memories in such a changing time of life with a person you know is going to be your forever person.”
Mahoney was proposed to in October. Her graduation was right around the corner in December. With an engagement added to the already full plate that comes with being a graduating senior, Mahoney said her support system of Baylor friends was a helpful crutch if she ever needed them.
“My friends at Baylor have been amazing,” she said. “They’re some of my best friends, they’re some of my bridesmaids, they’re people I’m going to be able to call whenever I need something, probably for the rest of my life. I always felt supported by the girls and the friends in my life, and I continue to feel that way.”
One aspect of a college engagement that can serve as an obstacle for many couples is readiness. When self-reflecting and asking oneself if they’re ready for marriage while in college, it can be easy to answer “no.” But Mahoney’s outlook on being ready isn’t as simple as a yes or no answer.
“I think the term of ‘being ready’ is a really funny thing,” Mahoney said. “I feel like we prepare ourselves so much for these massive milestones and things that will happen, but we’re never really sure if we’re ready as much as we can prepare. I feel like giving ourselves grace and just taking it one day at a time is really the most important thing.”
Taking it one day at a time was something Mahoney practiced while still at Baylor post-engagement, and something she says is sound advice for other Baylor students in the same situation.
“Take time for yourself; don’t forget about what matters to you,” she said. “Some days, I was so stressed out trying to plan months ahead, but I had to just take a step back and be like, ‘I’m going to go to the gym, go on a walk, get a Mamaka bowl’ — or whatever in that moment sounded beneficial to heal the anxiety I was feeling. Try to just manage what you can manage in that week.”
This sort of mentality has also been learned and utilized by Martin, who was proposed to in June. She said she has her wedding planned for just about three weeks after graduation. Though she said she’s antsy for what the future holds, she doesn’t want to forget about the present and trusts in God’s plan for her.
“I’m just so ready for this next season of life that I really don’t want to do my schoolwork right now,” she said. “I just don’t care about it anymore. But I really need to focus on living in the present and knowing that God is perfect in his timing, and that he would not still have me here at Baylor waiting for my wedding if this is not how he meant it to be.”
Martin said finding her fiancé when she did was unexpected since she had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to focus on herself before jumping back into one. She attributes the forming of her relationship with her forever person to God. Her fiancé felt similarly, as he told his mom he would be “a bachelor for life.”
“It was totally put together by the Lord — there’s no way of explaining it,” Martin said. “We were both not looking for people. But at the end of the day, [God’s] plans are way bigger than my plans for my own life.”
A big change Martin noticed in her day-to-day life was her transition from being a Type B person who would go with the flow to a Type A person who plans her entire day. Martin said it’s been a useful strategy in getting things done during this busy time in her life.
“I love to-do lists,” she said. “I actually have this big padfolio type of do-list sheet, and I’ll make one every single day. So I know I have to get these things done today, and if I don’t get them done today, I’m not going to carve out more of my time tomorrow to do it. I got to the point where I would go into the Notes app on my phone and plan out my day hour by hour.”
In terms of readiness, Martin said she developed this mindset thanks to some of the relationship books she reads — two of which were written by Jonathan Pokluda, the Lead Pastor of Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco.
“Pokluda always says to date for the shortest amount of time that you can because when you’re dating someone, you’re dating for marriage,” Martin said. “So if you’re dating for years and years, knowing that you’re going to get married, why not get married? If you know you love this person and you know you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this person, I think you should just go for it.”
