By Sophia Monson | Social Media Editor
Guess what — you know how you were told gossiping is wrong? Word on the street is that it’s not entirely true.
We understand gossip as the act of spreading information about those around us. These conversations can include rumors, stories or juicy tidbits that we may find entertaining about our peers. Gossip holds negative connotations that we all recognize. When we think of speaking behind others’ backs or spreading stories about our peers, words like “unkind,” “betrayal” and “disloyal” come to mind. If this is all understood to be true, why do we keep gossiping? Are the stories about your boss, friends or exes really that intriguing? Or are there other reasons we keep going back for more? The answer is yes: more often than not, gossip serves as a powerful tool in socializing and community building.
Let’s spill on the backstory of gossip. Gossip is not a new concept — humans are social creatures who have talked about those around them for centuries. In fact, psychologist Robin Dunbar has connected the act of gossiping to the practice of grooming found in other primates. Grooming helps primates connect, keep track of who’s close and grow social ties — just as gossip does for us.
Gossip even serves as a powerful tool in establishing trust and connection with our peers. It helps us reinforce and establish community norms, thereby helping to instill harmony in groups. A study from the University of Colorado Boulder found that when workers were not allowed to gossip, they felt an increased sense of loneliness and uselessness. On the other hand, their ability to cooperate and share ideas with others increased when the situation flipped. Entrusting a coworker or peer with information you find valuable or entertaining can demonstrate camaraderie or trust, both of which help strengthen relationships.
Gossip also holds strong power in protecting others. When we gossip, we can warn those around us of potentially uncomfortable, dangerous or abusive situations. For example, warning a new employee of your manager’s tendency to lash out before they’ve had their morning coffee. Or, furthermore, warning your friend that the person they’ve been dating has shown dangerous patterns in their past relationships. In this light, we can think of gossip as a form of protection for those around us. We all want to be warned before walking into a lion’s den.
It is important to recognize that these benefits do not excuse the malicious spread of misinformation. Using your voice to damage someone’s reputation unjustly doesn’t help build relationships or reputations. Being mindful when gossiping is important to maintain the integrity of your community and yourself.
We all know gossip isn’t going away anytime soon. And that’s OK. When we wield the power of our words wisely, we can significantly help build our relationships and communities. Being intentional with what we say can help us protect and connect with our peers. So be sure to use your words wisely. After all, what goes around comes around … but you didn’t hear that from me.
