By Katherine Hatcher | Staff Writer
Whether people realize it or not, daughters are transforming society for good. In turn, one Baylor professor is particularly impassioned to help popularize the celebration of daughters. The occasion was celebrated yesterday – National Daughter’s Day.
Dr. Allison Alford, Baylor University Clinical Associate professor of information systems and business analytics, focuses her research on the topics of women, adult daughtering, work-family balance and invisible labor. She disseminates this research and creates conversations about these topics through articles, books, social media platforms and even podcasts.
Alford finds it important to acknowledge and pinpoint terms for the work that women do. She coins one term as “daughtering” — the activity of relating to a parent as their child or to be or act as a daughter to a parent. She said this practice highlights daughters’ importance so that they can feel seen and loved and in return, add love back to society.
“Women are trying to keep these kinship bonds to keep families going, and families are the bedrock of our social system,” Alford said. “If a mom says thank you towards her daughter for big and small things, we create a new system of value for women that elevates [them].”
Dr. Alford found it disappointing when she looked up National Daughter’s Day on the internet, and many of the pictures that came up were of mothers with their young daughters.
“If we keep calling women mothers, then we make women only valuable in one way,” Alford said. “And not every woman will be a mother, wants to be a mother or is a mother for her whole life, but you know what you are your whole life? A daughter.”
Alford said daughtering is something that is constantly changing throughout life, but never loses its importance. A critical point for many is strengthening parental ties when leaving for college.
“If you don’t live at home, that means more phone calls, more facetimes, more texting, sending those pictures that she wants even if you don’t really want to send them because you know it makes [mothers] or [parents] happy,” Alford said.
There is an invisible thread connecting a mom and daughter, so Alford said that daughters have to work to keep it that way while also learning to be fully independent for the first time.
Washington D.C. graduate student Claire Elliot said she tries to daughter to the best of her ability despite being far away from her mom who lives in Italy, even if that just means just answering phone calls or sending pictures.
“I just got a dog, so I send her pictures and things like that, and I’m like, ‘Oh, this is what Jinx is doing today,’… I try to be more present with her, because I know it’s hard for her because I can’t see her all the time,” Elliot said.
In her own experience from college, Elliot said that her best friend from Texas would call her mom all the time. She said she remembered being slightly annoyed by it.
“I don’t know if part of that was me being jealous because I couldn’t [call my mom], or that maybe I don’t need to talk to my mom that much,” she said. “Because for some people, that’s just like how their relationship is.”
Because daughtering can look differently for everyone, whether it’s sending a funny video or a card, Alford said that all women are good enough daughters and that there’s no reason to compare.
“We can all transmit love in our families in different ways. Not all families are huggy, touchy and feely,” Alford said. “Some families roast each other.”
Houston senior Isabella Brown said she appreciated how her parents showed her love through gift giving, even though compared to other families hers was not based very much on words of affirmation.
“So my parents often send me gifts baskets or, you know, like finals preparation boxes with food and crafts and like little things to do, just to express the fact that, ‘Hey, we’re thinking of you. We care about you,’” Brown said.
As important as it is for a daughter to pour into her family, Alford said people get burnt out when they’re not being acknowledged for their work. She said the response in familial relationships should be gratitude from all sides.
Even in her own life, Alford said she tries to notice and communicate gratitude about the little things her 14-year-old daughter does for her, even if it’s her daughter simply putting up with her when she’s hangry.
“I think when we notice those really uniquely special things we do for each other in our relationship that are special … then it becomes even more valuable,” Alford said.
Alford’s research continues to grow as she has a new book coming out in 2026, an article that just came out titled “Daughterwork in Times of Social Upheaval” and a research project studying 100 women of all ages and races across the nation, their stories and what their mother-daughter relationships look like.
