By Avery Ballmann | Staff Writer
My parents divorced when I was six years old. As a child, I couldn’t fathom how my parents could do such a thing, but now that I’m older, I see that it worked out better than I ever could’ve imagined.
I am not glorifying divorce. I am simply seeing the best of the situation and how it has made my family closer and bigger.
Of course, divorce can be quite awkward for the child. Trying to explain to friends why you have two rooms at different houses doesn’t make a lot of sense without having to dive into the details of your new family dynamic. One of my most uncomfortable moments growing up and dealing with divorce was having to explain the divorce over and over again. As a child, it was hard telling my friends it was “dad’s weekend,” because I wanted to see my dad, but it never felt like my friends understood. I think the worst of it all was feeling different about not having a “normal” family.
According to World Population Review, the U.S. has the sixth highest divorce rate in the world where 50% of married couples end up separating. So maybe my need for a “normal” family wasn’t very realistic or statistically probable, but if 50% of marriages end in divorce, where are all of the kids who could have understood what I was going through? Growing up, and even now, all of my close friends’ parents are still together.
It could possibly be that divorce is a taboo topic for most people. It’s also generally frowned upon in Christianity. While following your faith and morals is important, I think God has a plan for all of us, and it’s better to lean on your faith when facing a bad situation. Staying together for the kids isn’t really better for the kids, trust me. Making the right choice can be difficult, but it’s better to do what’s best for yourself and your family rather than causing emotional trauma to everyone involved.
Families suffering from abuse, financial troubles, addiction and overall unhappiness need divorce more than they need marriage. According to Good Therapy, the institution of marriage alone does not keep a child happy. It is based on routine, the parents’ dependability and how the child views their parents’ character.
I have realized that even if my parents stayed together for me and my siblings, they wouldn’t have been happy. Fighting and family dysfunction is not a healthy environment for anyone. I am happy my parents divorced because my mom found the right man for her and my dad is able to do the things he wants to do. If not for their divorce, I wouldn’t have another parent and I wouldn’t have all the grandparents and siblings I have now.
Now, I see it as a fun game explaining to everyone that my siblings and I are all related in different ways, whether we share the same mom or dad — or don’t share anything at all. All divorces are different, but in the case of my family, it was the best decision they could have made.
I love my family dearly, and when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter how we’re related; what matters is our love for one another. I still struggle with the idea of marriage, but I am working on myself and will be prepared to handle things differently for my future husband and my future family.
