The Lariat endorses fart-filtering undies

ShreddiesComic.jpgLife is filled with inconveniences, but technology exists to help ease these troubles.

People needed ways to get around, so Henry Ford invented the automobile. People wanted to talk with friends and family across the country, so Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. People were grossed out by the smell of farts, so Paul O’Leary invented Shreddies.

Maybe Shreddies, which are underwear made of a special material that filters out any unpleasant smells, don’t get the recognition that electricity, the Internet and sliced bread get, but that doesn’t mean they are any less necessary in our world.

Every person should own a pair of fart-squelching underwear for the sake of those we spend time around. Generations from now, kids will wonder how we ever got by without this invention in the same way we wonder how people lived without television.

Shreddies use a material called Zorflex, which is made of activated carbon. According to Chemviron Carbon, the company that produces Zorflex, the material absorbs large volumes of organic and inorganic molecules from gasses and liquids.

The carbon is riddled with pores that squelch odors, but Zorflex is traditionally used in air conditioning, water filtration, personal protective equipment and more. The material is also very dense. In fact, just one gram of the material can stretch to more than half of a soccer field.

Is moisture your enemy? This isn’t a problem for Zorflex as it can function in high-humidity environments and isn’t adversely affected by moist environments.

Like any good inventor, O’Leary saw a way to make people’s lives easier and more comfortable. Now his fart-filtering material can help both you and the people in your blast radius.

Think of the implications. Nervous on a first dinner date? Shreddies should put your mind at ease even if that steak is turning in your stomach.

Is your job interview coming up after lunch? Fire away because your future employer won’t smell a thing. While this invention helps anyone that could possibly be embarrassed by flatulence, the people that will benefit the most are those that suffer from Chrohn’s disease, lactose intolerance or irritable bowel syndrome. Shreddies will help these people ease their most overlooked symptom: embarrassment.

Before you begin to think that Shreddies are some kind of gimmick that plays on childish humor as a way to market its product, you may want to know that teams of professionals have designed these award-winning undies. Shreddies hired Katie Crease, a designer from De Montfort University’s lingerie design program, to help breathe life into the idea.

What followed was the “Look Good Feel Good” award from the Association of Continence Advice. The judges commented, “Fab idea, good quality product, great styling, could save many a marriage. Well-needed product, fantastic innovation.” We couldn’t agree more.

According to, the average person passes gas 14 times each day. Multiply that by the number of people that you come in contact with, and odds are that you will encounter the smell of a fart every now and then.

In a world with odor-absorbing underwear, there is no embarrassment or discomfort from passing gas or being near someone who does. It must be heavenly.

Shreddies are a bit pricey, but so is every other revolutionary technology when it first comes out. Shreddies’ menswear starts at $40, and women’s underwear starts at $32.

Odor-absorbing underwear will come in handy. All silent-but-deadly farts will just become silent, and people would be able to do just as Shreddies’ motto states, “fart with confidence.”