By Dylan Fink | Sports Writer
Baylor University is often praised for its picturesque campus. In fact, U.S. News and World Report ranked the private institution as having one of the 25 most beautiful campus in the nation last January.
“The campus features both exterior and interior beauty, as many buildings showcase ornate copper ceilings and other intricate designs,” the publication wrote.
One debatable aspect of Baylor’s so-called “interior beauty,” however, lies within its student latrines. While there are a number of illustrious gems for the Baylor community worthy of praise on campus, there are surely some not even the most desperate of goers would want to venture to.
Having already noted the best five bathrooms on campus, I now present for the benefit of the Waco community: the worst five bathrooms on Baylor’s campus.
5. Rogers Engineering and Computer Science Building, first floor
This is not the most visited spot on campus; in fact, there’s a level of privacy that is almost applaudable. What really drags the Rogers first-floor bathrooms down is the everyday clientele.
I’ve never met anyone who believed the engineering and computer science building would have the cleanest restrooms, but Rogers first floor goes above and beyond in fitting any major-based stereotypes. While the students of the interior design or religion schools may go out of their way to maintain a hygienic environment, the overbearing homework and study load of engineering and computer science has caused a communal “out of sight, out of mind” mentality among the Rogers students.
4. Castellaw Communications Center, second floor, south wing
Talk about in need of a renovation. The Castellaw second-floor bathroom is one that, depending on who you ask, is either a living horror or a cult-favorite. While the bathroom itself is not in any bad shape nor really dirty by any means, the mere construction of the room is enough to make the boldest and most in-need venturer shudder.
A trip to Castellaw’s second floor is accompanied by bright yellow neon walls that are illuminated among the flicker of dim 1980s-esque lighting. The setting alone makes one wonder if they’re taking a trip to the loo or awaiting a fight with a vicious demogorgon. While I guarantee any trip to this bathroom will not be enjoyable, it may at least be better than the Stranger Things finale.
3. McLane Stadium (any bathroom)
Let me set the stage.
It’s 12:45 p.m. on a blistering 100-degree Saturday in September, and you’re wondering why you got out of bed so early just watch Baylor football lose another 11 a.m. kickoff. That’s when your stomach begins to rumble. The pre-kickoff cake no longer seems like the right idea (yes, McLane Stadium sells cake.)
Sweaty, sad and uncomfortable, you venture into the concrete jungle that is all of the McLane Stadium restrooms just to find where all the people that should be filling Baylor’s empty stands have made their way to. Here you stand, packed against 50 other people who all are dreading facing their maker in the prison-esque stalls that await them.
Safe to say, don’t use the McLane Stadium bathrooms.
2. Martin Residence Hall, basement communal bathroom
The Martin basement has gained traction this year more than once for their seemingly perennial lack of hygiene. While the dirt and grime of any freshman residence hall can build up, the Martin Basement seems to have found a knack year in and year out to be the most miserably disgusting of the resident hall bathrooms.
If you’ve never been in such absolute dire need to be forced to use the Martin basement bathroom, consider yourself among a very blessed population. If you have been subjected to such a visit, I’m so sorry for your pain. If you do live in the Martin basement, be better, guys.
1. Morrison Hall, first floor
The Morrison first floor bathroom must be the white whale of Baylor janitors. Every time it seems the floors are clean, all the pipes are flowing clearly and all bathroom amenities are well-stocked, something is bound to go wrong. This tendency destroys any worth and wealth the Morrison first floor holds.
There was a time when, for over a year, black goo leaked out of three of the four urinals in the facilities. Whether it was a symbiote or something worse, we will never know.
No matter how in need, not even if your next class is in the same walls, do not, under any circumstances, visit the Morrison first-floor bathroom. This behemoth of a “restroom” will cause the casual goer anything but rest for the near future. A dimly lit dwelling comparable to that of a movie supervillain’s lair is so terrifying that just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.
With so many better options across campus, there is little reason to visit any of these five bathrooms. If you must, proceed with caution — because, as the saying goes, when you have to go, you have to go.
