By Erika Kuehl | Opinion Editor
It’s cuffing season, a season consisting of sorority and fraternity formals, flannels and the look of desperation. If you’ve looked everywhere and still can’t find your perfect match, the immediate instinct is to go on a dating app. Before you get swept off your feet, consider proceeding with caution.
The Pew Research Center did a comprehensive study on online dating in 2022. One finding included: “63% of men in this age group [under 50] who have used dating sites or apps think they have encountered a scammer on them.”
The study also found some troubling statistics regarding online harassment towards young women.
“57% report that another user has sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for. Other negative interactions are more violent in nature: 19% of younger female users say someone on a dating site or app has threatened to physically harm them – roughly twice the rate of men in the same age range who say this.”
So, before you meet with your perfect match, search for their name on social media. In the age of AI-generated images, people can pretend to be anyone. Comparing their dating profile to their Instagram or Facebook can be a good way to confirm their identity. If the profile doesn’t have any posts and looks suspicious to you, it may be a fake account.
I think this goes without saying, but if they ask for any financial information — run. There are many scammers on dating sites looking to scam people instead of helping them find love. On the topic of sharing information, under no circumstances should you share your home address. Even if “Chad” says he’s sending you flowers, you really never know what they could be using your address for.
OK, so the person you matched with isn’t a scammer; what next? I would suggest video chatting before meeting up. Although you think you know this person — they are still a stranger. By video chatting first, you can confirm they are a real person and don’t have a weird voice for that matter. If they say no to a call without explanation, take that as a hint that maybe things aren’t what they seem.
The video call goes great and now it’s time for the first date. Having someone pick you up is sweet, but showing them your house isn’t. You can politely decline by saying you’ll be in the area earlier that day and can drive yourself.
Before you leave, share your location with a friend whom you trust. Make up a code word that signals you need to get out of the date just in case things go sour. I would recommend a first date to be somewhere public and during the day. If your match doesn’t like this idea, well, now you know what they really wanted.
If you feel like you are in danger during the date, get the attention of a waitress or someone in the area. They could help you create a distraction and get you home safely. Trusting your instincts when meeting people for the first time is always important. If your gut says no, be rude and walk out. Your safety is much more important than your kindness.
As always if you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you have been sexually assaulted, RAINN provides a 24/7 free hotline at 800-656-HOPE.
