By Kameron Brooke | Reporter
For as long as I can remember, I have been an extremely emotional person. I feel everything deeply. In the past, it was very difficult for me to handle situations rationally because I let my emotions cloud the truth and prevent me from being objective.
Throughout my journey, I have come to learn that separation of the two is one of the most important things one can master.
I believe when one lacks the ability to separate emotion and objectivity, they start to embody the idea that another person’s feelings are their fault and vice versa. I’ve struggled a lot with this. When I was hurt, it must have been someone else’s fault. However, I’ve been able to change my perspective of myself and others and who should be accountable for what.
I think emotions should always be embraced and allowed to flow through you. However, I used to place a high value on my feelings, and the mindset I had was that anything I felt was the truth. The results of that mindset forced me to realize that holding my emotions higher than objectivity caused an immense amount of harm.
Facts over feelings is important in general, and I think it’s even more important when it comes to being hurt by others. Personally, that’s when my emotions are at their highest. However, when my feelings are hurt, it doesn’t automatically mean there is someone to blame.
I am just reacting. I’ve projected my feelings onto others because I felt that if I was hurt, someone should be accountable for that hurt, even if they didn’t intentionally cause it.
A harsh reality that took me a long time to accept is that I am accountable for my own feelings. People are accountable for harm and are harmful every day. So, your feelings could get hurt 24/7 if you let them. That is completely up to you. It is up to you to understand your own emotions and have a level of trust in those who love you.
Leon F. Seltzer wrote a Psychology Today article entitled “Hurt Feelings Come From Hurt Thoughts.”
“I think it’s invaluable when someone triggers your sadness, anxiety, anger, or any other negative emotion, to reflect on just what caused these disturbing feelings,” Seltzer said in the article. “It’s crucial to recognize that your feelings emerged secondary to your self-talk.”
I will always value my emotions, and I think my sensitivity is a gift. I think it allows me to love harder and connect to people more deeply, which is something that brings me a ton of joy.
However, like everyone else, I’ve had my fair share of emotional wounds. The difference is that I am able to recognize when my emotions are the result of my own assumptions and reactions. I still feel everything, but now I feel clearly.
