By Mariah Bennett | Assistant News Editor
It isn’t about the flowers, not all of it at least. Personally, I love flowers. I take pictures of them, decorate my room with them, wear floral patterns — I think they’re neat. Would I dump someone over not getting me flowers? No, that’s stupid.
A partner not buying their significant other flowers isn’t a reason to break up, but sometimes this situation is a symptom of a larger problem that does condone a conversation. The larger problem is a lack of attention to one’s significant other’s needs in a relationship.
It’s best explained by Wendy Newman, an author who has experience with relationship and dating advice. Reader Margie C. reached out to Newman describing her hinting to her most previous boyfriend about wanting flowers.
“’I love these flowers. It would make me so happy if you bought me flowers. This is my favorite kind of flower,'” Margie C. said.
Sound familiar? I’ve heard variations of it too many times, whether it be about flowers, date nights, compliments, time and the list goes on.
Now, I’m not saying your boyfriend refusing to buy you flowers after expressing hints is cause for an immediate break up. I’ve seen plenty of healthy relationships where the person being hinted to about flowers is just not the brightest bulb or is immature. For whatever reason, they don’t get it. Every relationship is different. Sometimes, it’s about your own patience and what you’re willing to compromise over, not that you necessarily need to.
However, I’ve also seen plenty of opposite cases where the person just doesn’t care about their significant other’s needs or wants. It isn’t rocket science, just incompatibility.
What I’m saying is to take a good look at your relationship, and if your significant other’s reaction to a casual subject like flowers is an abrupt “No” with no rhyme or reason, see if it’s a pattern of wants or needs not being met, despite healthy communication. These could be signs a person may just not be a good match for you.
It doesn’t mean your significant other is evil; it could mean you might have different needs. Maybe your partner doesn’t need as much “romance” in a relationship as you do. Maybe they’re not putting as much effort into the relationship as you personally need because they’re not into you.
If you want to work for the relationship, do it. But don’t be surprised if you never get flowers or the romance you dream of; some people just aren’t compatible.
That isn’t to give total grace and innocence to the non-flower giver in these types of cases. I’m not saying partners who do this are evil or that they can’t change or grow in the future with someone else.
I can say that in most instances, they aren’t worth the trouble. Pretty, funny, smart people crying over bare minimum fives with the personality of cardboard is an ongoing problem in society. Flowers are, in some cases, a symptom of said problem, and seeing others cry over cardboard has gone from heartbreaking to annoying.
The solution is hard but obvious: If your significant other knows — keyword, really knows — and doesn’t care that they’re making you so upset over something so small, for no reason other than stubbornness or apathy, dump them. Buy your own flowers, and find someone who wants what you want.
“As you date, pick the ones whom you don’t have to change — who can give you what you need, and who pay attention to what makes you happy. These guys are out there,” Newman said in her article.