What to put and what not to put on ice cream

By Tim Longoria | Broadcast Reporter

I have never found myself not wanting ice cream. It doesn’t matter if the day is hot, cold, sunny or rainy, ice cream is always good and always available.

When it comes to ice cream, I am very picky about what and what not to add to my base flavor. Sometimes ice cream is better plain, and other times I might want to switch it up a bit by adding hot fudge or peanut butter cups.

One thing that I have never understood is how people add five different things and still manage to walk away without using a napkin. I firmly believe that ice cream should have a limit on extra toppings for the safety of everyone’s clothing.

I want to talk about sprinkles for a moment. Where’s the flavor? Why do 75% of them fall off before I even pay for the cone? I get asking for them if you’re a third grader and half of your entire treat will end up on the ground anyway, but why would anyone else genuinely order sprinkles? Maybe I have never had good sprinkles, but I will stand firm in my opinion until someone brings me an ice cream cone with good-tasting sprinkles that actually bring something to the table.

People who like fruit on your ice cream…don’t think I forgot about you. Ice cream is supposed to be an escape, a reward for going two days without eating sweets. I have always felt bad about myself when I’m eating a double chocolate chunk waffle cone and look over to see some guy picking bananas and blueberries out of his vanilla. Geez dude, make me feel worse about my choices please!

When grabbing ice cream, or even a shake at any fast food place, do people find the amount of whipped cream they add normal? Don’t get me wrong, I love whipped cream, but I do get a little heated when it takes up half of my cup.

And no, I do not like — nor will I ever want — a cherry on top. Sure, it’s cute and makes it look more neat, but the amount of cherries thrown out the window after the food is delivered has to be astronomically high.

Finally, I would like to discuss ice cream sandwiches. While yes, they are God-sent, how is anyone able to eat the entire thing?

My past experiences have been wonderful on the first bite, and that’s about all I get for the rest of the sandwich. Ice cream in between two cookies has never been an easy thing to eat. The pressure coming down on the cookies just causes the ice cream to be pushed right out (usually, on my khaki pants after church).

All in all, ice cream fixes every problem, but when we overcomplicate it with pointless additions, it takes away from the pure sweetness that everyone enjoys. By all means, go ahead and add chocolate chips or crushed-up graham crackers, I encourage it. If the ice cream exceeds more than two toppings though, there’s no point in spending money on the dessert.