Teenyboppers and fangirls (maybe some boys, too) everywhere are mourning the loss of one of the world’s greatest heroes: Zayn Malik.
Zayn and his mile-high bangs have been part of the Simon Cowell–discovered band One Direction from the very beginning. After five years with the group, One Direction’s PR team announced Wednesday via Facebook that Zayn is leaving the band. Why? So he can pursue the life of “a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight.”
Good luck with that one, bud.
In reality, Zayn will forever be haunted by the TMZ’s of the world, in addition to the band’s 22.9 million Twitter followers. His face has been seared into the memory of Generation Z (not for Zayn) forever. There is no escaping the sweaty, over enthused teens of the world.
Speaking of these fans, the response has been outrageous — and hilarious. A quick look through social media will leave one both stunned and crying with amusement at the response to Zayn’s departure.
You would think the man was Jesus.
Girls too young to know the difference between ISIS and Ice Cube have posted videos and pictures of themselves sobbing and bemoaning Zayn’s absence to platforms such as Instagram, Facebook and, of course, Twitter. It’s actually kind of disgusting.
I understand the intrigue celebrities can cause for us common folk, especially the young’uns, but when the well being of children lies in the structure of a boy band, I feel like parents should be a little concerned with how their children are learning to prioritize what’s happening in the world.
But back to the entertainment aspect of this whole thing. I don’t mean to sound cynical or vindictive — I just remember what it was like to be their age and fawning over celebrities: “Leo breathes oxygen? OMG, I breathe oxygen, too.” It makes me laugh now.
The greatest downside to this whole event? The tears of sweet baby angels — preteens — were shed for a young man who does not even know their names. Such a shame and a waste of the body’s saline supply.
Rest assured, grasshoppers, another Zayn shall rise to woo you with his man bun and skinny pants.
Just give Simon Cowell time.