Want to know when you will put a ring on it? There’s an app for that.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the good folks over at Time Magazine have released an app that will tell you amount the of time you have remaining to tie the knot. It calculates the median age of your married friends and then projects what their relationships mean for you in the love department.
Theoretically, according to Time, because most of your friends are close to your age, the number should tell you your expiration date when it comes to romance.
This method is about as accurate as a fortune cookie.
There is no science behind this prediction, as it only includes friends who list their date of birth, including the year. It also uses the word “married” to include “engaged,” “in a domestic partnership” or “in a civil union.” There is clearly a difference in simply having a ring on your finger and actually taking vows.
While it is blaringly obvious that the numbers are hollow, some users see Facebook as a hub for all things true and legitimate.
Giving such a false projection may potentially coax people into thinking that their relationship clock is ticking or has already run out of time. This app is putting an undue corporate pressure on Facebook users’ love lives. Any person who wants to put themselves or their careers ahead of getting hitched should not be shamed.
For many, regardless of self-confidence, apps such as this one force them to play devil’s advocate with themselves. It’s kind of like going to a family reunion where everyone asks, “When are you getting married?” or, “When are we going to have little ones running around?”
While this app was probably released in the spirit of Valentine’s Day to promote fun and love, some people unfortunately use Facebook as if it were a Bible.
It reinforces the envy and loneliness that is already inherent in people on the day of “Be mine?” candy hearts and oversized stuffed things (which your dog will inevitably gut out and decapitate). All it leaves you thinking is: “I’m an old maid; time to head to the nunnery.”
Also, for those in relationships, this can cause tension. The pair may have never even talked about marriage or “saying ‘yes’ to the dress,” and here they are forced to think about such an event.
Good shot, Time, but this tool missed the mark. There is no right or wrong time to get married. All single people who use the app will be left feeling bad about flying solo. Thanks for the pressure.
Now we are even more stressed about finding our proverbial “ball and chain.”
Disclaimer: Before you trek over to the cat shelter, remember that everyone will meet his or her mate at some point.
Don’t adopt animals that you may regret in the future.