Viewpoint: Restaurant never fails in satisfaction

By Daniel Wallace
Sports writer

Few places on Earth are quite like this one. You walk into a lively atmosphere and are greeted with smiles from all around. You will notice the cleanliness and high-quality maintenance that has been performed. And oh, that smell. The sweet smell of deliciousness roaming through the air that lovingly finds its way into your nostrils as you contemplate which heavenly goodness off the menu your body shall consume this time.

The anticipation for what is about to come has reached an all-time high at this point. As you order your food – and if you are like me, you attempt to get one of everything – your mind fills with thoughts of, “will this be as good as last time or better?”

What goes on in your mind at this point is truly a sensational, intellectually stimulating experience. You then look all around you and notice you have been surrounded by images of a farm animal in the building you are in. This adds to your utterly terrific experience and you know deep down in your heart that no matter what happens next, it has already been the best experience of your life.

If it’s not completely obvious for you by now where you are, let me enlighten you. You are at Chick-fil-A. I mean, come on, really? Does any fast food restaurant even come close to comparing? No.

After you exchange your “thank you’s” and “my pleasures” with the smiling person behind the counter, the moment finally comes. Yes, folks, it’s true. We have not even gotten to the best part of the Chick-Fil-A experience yet.

You hold that sandwich or that nugget up to your face and prepare to destroy it. The beauty of the moment when you put that first piece of chicken into your mouth cannot be described with enough adequate words.

Everything else just doesn’t seem to matter. You don’t worry about whether you left the oven on at home, whether you let the dog outside, or about that guy in the corner staring at you and your chicken eagerly awaiting his. It’s just you and the chicken. As you eat, you realize this gift is a gift from God and you begin to give thanks for the food if you’ve not done so already.

Thus, Chick-fil-A also provides for a deeply moving spiritual experience. You don’t even need a preacher there with you.

All this happens before you get to the fries. Wow. What do you get when you mix waffles and fries? The most unique, devastatingly delicious piece of potato on the planet. No place offers such a gloriously structured cuisine as such.

As you plow through your food, you realize that this has been the best 15 minutes of your life thus far. So you start eating slower to savor the flavor and bask in the whole experience. Then, as if it couldn’t get any better, you get yourself a hand-spun, God-sent milkshake and are able to spend the next 15 minutes trying to see if it will equal the greatness of the last 15. It does. In some cases, it exceeds it.

You can dip and dunk your nuggets and fries into just about any sauce your little heart desires, and although I’m not a sweet tea guy, I’ve heard it’s pretty ridonk. Really, how have other fast food places stayed in business? No place offers such majestic food as you have the time of your life with your and your chicken. Two separate species together united forever as one, as the human and the chicken experience a bond not time nor even death itself can separate. I salute you, Chick-Fil-A.

Daniel Wallace is a junior journalism major from Colorado Springs, Colo., and is a sports writer for the Lariat.