By Arden Berry | Staff Writer
During my sophomore year of high school, there was a metaphorical wall between me and the people I wanted to be friends with: they were all in band and I was not. I would space out during their conversations, hoping they would just stop talking about band and shift to a topic I was familiar with. Because I felt insecure about my lack of knowledge, I convinced myself that what they were saying was unimportant and I didn’t need to know about it anyway.
However, even when they did discuss other things, I still felt disconnected.
The solution was simple — I recognized that I didn’t have the knowledge, but that I could learn from them, so I just started paying more attention. I learned about their marching band show theme, an inside joke they had about one of their directors and about the places they travel to for competitions. Though it was never the same as being a part of band, I was able to participate in their conversations, even if it was just by asking questions and listening.
The fact is, you’re never going to know everything. It doesn’t matter how smart you are. One day, you will find yourself in a room or a group of people, and they will know more than you about something, and that is OK. Instead of being intimidated by people who may be “smarter” than you, be impressed by them. Don’t think of conversations as a competition about who is most knowledgeable on a subject, but as an opportunity to connect and learn more about each other.
There’s a bit of selfishness that comes with only participating in conversations that match your knowledge and interests, so you never have to reveal how little you know. It’s hard to get to know people when you’re not willing to understand all the parts of them. So, sacrifice a bit of your pride and ask a question or take a back seat and listen. In doing so, you become closer to your friends and may even gain some new knowledge.
This is especially applicable in college, where you’re surrounded by people of all different majors and backgrounds. You might learn about accounting from one person and medical ethics from another. I know an entomology major from high school who talks to me about butterflies, and a political science major roommate who talks to me about philosophy. When they do, I listen, react and contribute when I can. In those conversations, it’s not about me and how much I know; it’s about them and the subjects they care about. Learning more for myself is just a bonus.
The idea of being the “smartest person in the room” is impossible to measure, as everyone has their own subjects in which they are knowledgeable, and it is therefore impossible to attain. So, don’t worry about it — just focus on making connections and obtaining new info.
However, learning is a two-way street. The more knowledgeable person needs to recognize that they are not all-knowing either and avoid putting the other person down for not knowing as much as they do. A successful conversation requires mutual respect and humility, understanding that all people involved are intelligent and that one person may know more about a particular subject.
So don’t be afraid of not being the smartest person in the room. In fact, I think one should embrace it, even strive for it. We do that every day when we go to classes; we walk into a room where the most knowledgeable person is the professor, and we’re happy to learn from them. Perhaps we should give our friends the same respect and pay attention when they discuss topics we may not be familiar with — we might learn something new.
