By Abigail Gan | Reporter
As a society, we’ve allowed gossip to assimilate into our culture and don’t fully see its effects anymore. The truth is, gossip does kill. It kills relationships and trust, and it can kill other people’s self-esteem or confidence.
The problem with gossip is it’s often disguised: the sins often justified. What is gossip? According to an article from American Psychology Association, gossip is sharing evaluative information about an absent third party and is often perceived as despicable and untrustworthy.
While gossip does include speaking poorly about others, and starting or spreading rumors, gossip can be found in much more inconspicuous forms. This can include venting, veiled prayer requests and simply just saying things you wouldn’t want the person you’re talking about to hear. Another way that gossip is prevalent on Baylor’s campus is through YikYak.
Gossip has no long-term benefits. It can seemingly bond people together and make someone seem more popular, but the truth is, a relationship with a foundation in gossip is transactional and unhealthy. After all, if someone talks behind another person’s back to you, what’s to say they won’t talk about you to others?
When people talk about others, it influences your perception and bias about the subject of gossip. Gossip destroys reputations and gives subjects of gossip a disadvantage before people know them.
Gossip spreads misinformation. If it’s not coming straight from the source then it is sure to get more and more skewed as it continues to get passed on.
One form of gossip I commonly see people trying to justify is gossip about the opposite gender. Somehow, the rules don’t seem to apply if it’s not someone of the same sex. For girls, talking about and criticizing guys who might like you or try to ask you out or just putting down other guys because you think they’re “weird” is also gossip.
Caveat: in cases of assault, rape and abuse, it is incredibly important to bring it to the proper authorities. Please bring it to light and find people who will support you.
Gossip doesn’t help anyone. Talking about it to other people only helps you get more worked up and does nothing with resolving the issue. It fans the flame. Going to someone directly and trying to resolve the problem is infinitely more helpful than venting about it to a bunch of your friends.
I understand relationships are complicated and there are times when it can’t be resolved just by going directly to the person. I think it is acceptable to bring other people into a situation as long as it’s constructive.
So, if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it. And if you want to say it and would say it to someone’s face — then just go to the person and resolve the issue with them.
For Christians, refraining from gossip is something the Bible calls us to do. Ephesians 4:19 tells Christians to speak only what is helpful for building others up and will benefit those who listen. If someone isn’t present when you are talking about them, how is it benefiting those who listen?
Proverbs 16:28 says that a perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends. Gossip is something that separates people and destroys relationships, stirring up conflict.
As Christians, before venting to other people or gossiping, reflect. Have you spoken to God about the problem as much as you have with other people?
Let’s be a people that stops gossip culture. Let’s be people who speak kindness and build people up. The next time you want to say something about someone you wouldn’t want them to hear, stop yourself, go to them and try to resolve the conflict. Let’s change the culture.
