By Mary Thurmond | Photo Editor
Every morning, I take the bus to class. And every morning, I notice the same thing. I sit down, headphones on, bag in my lap — and people pass me by. One by one, they fill up every other seat before they finally sit next to me. I’ve been at Baylor for over a year now, and I can count on one hand how many times someone has actually chosen the seat beside me.
Maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe it’s not.
I don’t exactly blend in. I have dyed hair, facial piercings and a grungy style that doesn’t scream “Baylor.” I’ve never been handed a flyer when walking through Fountain Mall, even when dozens of people around me get one. I’ve never been stopped by a recruiter or a tabler. People glance at me and move on like I’m invisible, or worse, like I’m something to avoid.
It’s strange how much we still judge people based on appearance, even when we claim not to. The British Psychological Society found that people are naturally drawn to those who look like them — they’re more likely to sit near, talk to or trust people who share similar traits, from clothing style to facial features. It’s a subconscious bias that runs deep, and it shows up in places as small as a bus ride.
On a campus that preaches “love thy neighbor,” it’s worth asking what that really means. Loving your neighbor doesn’t just mean smiling at the people who look like you or go to the same church as you. It means stepping outside of your comfort zone and even loving thy neighbor, even if that neighbor has pink hair and a nose ring.
I know my appearance doesn’t fit the typical Baylor look, whatever that even means. But the irony is that the people who might look the most intimidating on the outside often have the kindest hearts. I’ve made friends with people who told me they were scared to talk to me at first — until they realized I’m just an anxious, slightly awkward person who likes photography and music.
Appearance is one of the easiest things to notice and one of the hardest things to look past. But when we judge others based on how they look, we miss the chance to actually know them. We miss out on stories, perspectives and friendships that could change how we see the world.
According to social psychology research done at Princeton, humans make snap judgments about others within seconds — often before they’ve even spoken. That instinct might have served some purpose in the past, but in modern life, it mostly creates distance. It keeps us from sitting next to someone who might make our day a little better.
So next time you’re on the bus, in line for coffee or walking through campus, take a moment to notice who you avoid. Then ask yourself why. Are they really that different from you, or just dressed differently?
The phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” is old, maybe overused — but it’s still true. If we want a community that feels genuine, welcoming and alive, it starts with sitting down next to someone who doesn’t look like you.
