By Caleb Garcia | Photographer
“K.”
A response as old as time.
Beautiful like the summer sky. Mysterious as the fog over an ocean harbor. A true literary masterpiece. Great philosophers of history like Aristotle and Plato pondered it, and the great authors and playwrights such as Camus and Shakespeare were inspired by its complexity and depth.
This is ironic of course. Juliet does not respond with “K” after Romeo professes his undying love. Meursault did not react to the sentence of the death penalty with “It’s cool gang, no worries.”
While I know that most of us are not poets, philosophers and ponderers, we are incredibly complex human beings with a story as captivating as any literary masterpiece. While we may never put our script on the stage, we must show it to the people who contribute to the pages of our lives.
Nonchalance is the enemy. It’s birthed out of fear or the assumption that another person might find us “weird” or too talkative. The effects of not opening up out of fear and losing meaningful connections are more harmful than coming off as “too much.”
In an experience that stuck with me, I had a conversation with another student on the topic of our majors. After a brief exchange of names and our fears for the challenging course ahead of us, I asked why he undertook his major. A classic question that has never been used before, I’m sure, but it seemed like the perfect conversation starter in the awkwardness of an empty classroom.
In the earlier conversation, he had seemed almost careless with his answers. However, his reaction to the question was quite the contrast. For a moment, his face lit up and it seemed as if a tale was about to spill out of him, like he had secrets the whole world would want to lean in and listen to. I could see it for a single, bright moment, but with a casual response of “Oh I thought the subject was cool,” it was gone.
It almost hurt me in a way. It seemed he had an amazing tale to tell, but he held back for some reason I couldn’t understand. We didn’t talk much after that, and it made me consider if we had maybe opened up a bit more, we could be great friends by now.
That simple interaction made me realize how awful being nonchalant is. We reinforce the stigma of not opening up or being very solitary people, often denying our very own feelings in the process. Letting ourselves feel genuine emotion and being able to express it is a beautiful thing.
So to the stoics and romantics alike, try switching it up. Reach out to that person you enjoy being around, remind your friends you love them and tell them you like their new boots. Try asking about what they believe in or how they got here. Showing emotion is never a weakness, and more often than not is a trait that many will come to appreciate.
Be “chalant,” be open and be yourself. Try making a new connection that you might’ve been too afraid to make before.
If you don’t though, it’s cool. I mean I really don’t care, you know? It’s whatever.
