I recently read Caroline Brewton’s Feb. 15 column, “Personality and Qualifications? Check. Ring? Um…” in the Lariat in which she expressed her belief that her unmarried state is some kind of personal failure.
While I have to assume that most of the article was satirical, the truth behind this joke could not be more clear: Many Baylor women measure the worth of their college career in terms of their relationship status upon graduation. I believe that college is meant to be enjoyed as an exciting journey in which God teaches us, equips us and prepares us to serve him with our lives.
To elevate the destination (in this case, marriage) over the journey is to prevent ourselves from learning to enjoy life fully, no matter what phase of life we are in.
As women, we desire to be known, understood and loved anyway, so we often pressure the men in our lives to fill this deep need. We ought to recognize that this intimate, healing love comes from our heavenly father. We are only able to approach our relationships in an appropriate way after we have learned to stand confidently in that assurance.
Viewing ourselves as unfulfilled until we are married hinders our relationships from being successful because we are trusting in another person to make us whole. Only God can do that.
Broken people seeking restoration from other broken people in the form of a lifelong commitment sounds to me like a recipe for disaster or at least an unfulfilling marriage in which a person finally recognizes that the very thing they viewed as supremely important cannot satisfy them.
If there are any Baylor women who read the previous article and felt that they shared the author’s sentiments, I hope that you will recognize that we do not have to approach relationships this way.
From my experience, any time I have elevated a particular goal to a certain status in my mind, I have stopped enjoying the individual steps that lead me to that goal. When that happens, even if my intended result is realized, I find myself unfulfilled because I did not learn how to enjoy the journey.
I hope that anyone who reads this will be inspired to cherish this moment — regardless of circumstances, relationship details or anything else. I hope we will become the kind of people who learn to live life to the fullest by savoring the unique blessings that we are given with each new day.
—Allison Temnick
Phoenix senior
