By Marisa Young | Focus Editor
The practice of “self-love” has become a defining movement in modern Western culture. Online influencers and self-help books alike encourage individuals to prioritize themselves, become wholly independent and solve their own problems.
Self-love culture emerged alongside the rise of social media, where comparison is easier than ever. As a result, many young men and women are experiencing increased insecurity, often manifesting as anxiety and depression. While self-love culture seeks to address these struggles by building one’s relationship with the internal self, I believe it frequently worsens the very problems it claims to heal.
In typical Western fashion, self-love culture elevates independence above all else. Its underlying narrative suggests that relying on others is a weakness and that healing must happen entirely internally. Buying into this mindset risks cultivating hyper-independence, a state in which individuals avoid vulnerability and seeking help from others entirely. While hyper-independence can resemble resilience, it ultimately breeds isolation.
Healing of any kind, including insecurity, requires some degree of reliance on others. Contrary to what self-love culture suggests, asking for help is not a failure but an act of courage and willingness to change.
In its most extreme forms, self-love culture can also devolve into self-centeredness, bordering on narcissism. When personal security becomes an individual’s highest priority, things like accountability, empathy and compassion go out the window. On social media platforms, self-love frequently presents itself through image-focused habits such as intense fitness routines or elaborate skincare routines.
While these practices are not inherently harmful, using them to address insecurity can create a vicious cycle of self-centered behavior that ultimately deepens the issue. Rooting self-worth in appearance itself is an act of insecurity; altering one’s appearance can never actually address the real problem. Growth occurs when individuals anchor their security in something larger than themselves, such as a moral framework or a relationship with God.
For Christians, Scripture consistently calls believers toward surrender rather than self-sufficiency. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God tells the Apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This message directly counters self-love culture’s mantra of independence. Instead, the Bible teaches us that wholeness is found through utter dependence on God and engagement within Christian community. Scripture reminds us that Jesus bestows worth on His children that is beyond our control. He gives us a grace that is not deserved and a love that does not fluctuate with appearance or accomplishments.
Taking care of oneself is important, but self-love culture will never truly fix insecurity. Healing requires community and the realization that there exists something far greater than oneself.
