By Sarah Gallaher | Staff Writer
When asked about your favorite artist, food or show, have you ever received immediate judgment in return?
Maybe you enjoy something obscure, or perhaps your taste is very mainstream, but I think it’s safe to say that everyone has experienced judgment for their interests. You might think some tastes are so egregious they deserve to be judged (I’m talking to the canned tuna lovers here), but judging others for things that make them happy doesn’t promote healthy relationships among friends.
With such a wide variety of interests available to us, it’s not surprising that opinions differ. However, the problem arises when people express negativity solely for the purpose of being negative. People should have the ability to enjoy what makes them happy without being unreasonably ridiculed for it.
For example, if I reiterated that I hate canned tuna (which I do with passion), what purpose would it serve? Now, it would be one thing if you offered to make me a tuna melt, to which I would politely decline. That, however, is an instance where input is necessary to avoid conflict. I’m talking about pure, unadulterated moments of judgment solely because someone else has expressed a liking for something.
When you share one of your interests with someone, their response matters. If they ridicule you and call your interests basic, overrated or stupid, it prevents you from sharing about that interest in the future. However, if they show appreciation for your interests, whether they like them or not, it makes you feel free to share your excitement in the future.
A negative outlook leads to a negative outcome. If you find yourself trapped in a circle of negativity, you might find it difficult to express your opinion freely. When this occurs among friends, it becomes an even greater issue, as people have to censor their interests to appeal to others.
Our interests are what bring us joy, and they are an important part of who we are. Interests help us relate to others when we find commonalities. Interests give us passions that we can use to accomplish great things. Interests make us unique. We can appreciate the things that make others happy without putting them down due to differences.
Pessimism toward the interests of others has real-world implications as well. A common example of this is “The Lunchbox Moment,” which describes the shame felt by children who were made fun of for what they brought to school lunch. While this may sound silly, it actually speaks to deeper issues regarding cultural differences. Feeling the need to express your distaste for someone else’s food could actually be an unintentionally negative comment about a tradition important to their culture.
Another example of this occurs when women are ridiculed for their interests — and by that, I mean any interest they could possibly have, no matter how normal it might be. Things catered toward women often receive greater negativity than those catered toward men.
Chick flicks are a perfect example of this. While many movies considered “chick flicks” have greater critical acclaim than some films outside the genre, they are looked down upon by men who cannot relate to them. Instead of saying, “I’m glad you enjoy that,” people feel the need to say, “That’s dumb. Who would enjoy this?” Just because something exists outside your own interests doesn’t make it any less valuable, nor does it give you an excuse to express a negative opinion.
Putting people down for the things that they enjoy does nothing but create a negative environment. Celebrating differences and welcoming interests that do not appeal to you with open arms creates diverse, meaningful relationships.
The next time your friend talks about an interest that you dislike, remember that it’s better to listen than to ridicule.
