By Aliyah Binford | Reporter
Let me be straight and say that everyone in the world has lied at least one time in their life without even realizing it; sometimes it’s more than once. Studies reveal that some toddlers begin lying before they are two and half years old, which goes to show that as you get older, you start to lie more often. Sometimes I lie without even trying to. It honestly came so naturally to me, and I had no idea why. Even in scenarios where I had no reason to lie, I just did it because it made me feel safer.
The real question is, is it ethical to lie to your children? I’m going to be honest: parents need to accept that they can’t protect their children and that lying only leaves children knowing the truth but wondering why their parents were lying about it.
As I grew up, my parents were always straight up with me and my brother; rarely did they ever lie to us, and even when they did, the lie never lasted longer than a few days. My mom always believed that it made us stronger and that there is no reason to “baby” us. I wholeheartedly agree. I believe it is only ethical to fix the details in the scenario to make it sound less ugly than it is — meaning if it’s a story about violence, you can leave out certain painful things while still telling your child the story.
I know parents just want to protect their children at all costs, but sometimes a child needs to grow up mentally. Lying doesn’t help your child in the long run, especially when the truth does come out. It ends up making it worse on your child and on you because now you are the bad guy.
Trust between parents and kids is vital. It leads to proper growth, better emotional health, less anxiety, better childhood and adult relationships, increased empathy, greater creativity and a better ability to cope with the ups and downs of life. I don’t know who I would be as a person if my mom, dad or family in general lied to me just to spare my feelings. It’s unethical, and I for sure will not raise my children on a bed of lies just to keep them as happy as possible.
The reality is children can deal with almost any disappointment if provided parental support. It works the other way as well; if children are repeatedly lied to by their parents, then they begin to doubt and distrust even the simplest realities. By keeping secrets, parents inadvertently make their kids feel disconnected. It is very important for families to function as a team — not as individuals who feel the need to keep secrets to protect one another. Good communication within families leads to better relationships. Trust in your kids enough to know that they can handle what you give to them. We’re stronger than you think.
