When to let people go

By BrenShavia Jordan | Broadcast Reporter

We are all guilty of trying to force a friendship or relationship even when we see the signs that it’s not good for us. Instead of letting go from the beginning, we hold on, only to get hurt in the end. But why? Is there an emptiness inside that we are willing to fill at any cost? Is it because we don’t know our true worth? Is it because we are scared to be alone? The truth is, it can be a mixture of these and more.

You should never allow yourself to be in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable just to avoid being alone. It is so important to stick to your truth and your standards without wavering.

There have been many times I stayed in friendships or relationships when I could tell the person wasn’t genuine. I felt like I had already invested so much, and I didn’t want to walk away and start over. This type of mindset only hurts you, because then you allow yourself to get mistreated. We have all heard the saying, “A person will only treat you how you allow them to.”

So then when do you say enough is enough? It shouldn’t take another heartbreak for you to wake up and start valuing yourself better. Sometimes a reality check is the starting point for change. You must evaluate the situations in your life that have caused you the most hurt. You have to forgive the person you allowed to hurt you, but you also have to forgive yourself for thinking it was OK.

If you meet a person and you get the feeling something isn’t right, the chances are it’s not. When you identify that feeling, don’t continue to form a relationship, just let it go from the beginning. If a person is untruthful and unaccountable and they show you who they are from the beginning, believe them and walk away. Stop justifying the behavior when you know you don’t like it. If you are being emotionally abused and feeling bad about yourself, that’s toxic and you don’t have to put up with that let it go. Lying, lack of communication and feeling drained after being with them are a few signs that they aren’t the best or you!

I know its easier said than done, but you must treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. If you don’t value yourself, others wont either. If you continue to justify toxic behavior, others will continue to misuse you. You are worth true genuine relationships, whether it is with a significant other or friendship.

Walking away from a toxic situation is hard. In that time its important to surround yourself with others that will uplift you. Find scriptures in the Bible that remind you of your worth in Jesus Christ and journaling your feelings is always therapeutic. Walking away doesn’t make you weak; it actually shows how strong you are. Don’t beat yourself up about the situation. Use it as an opportunity to grow and let go.

So, the next time you encounter a situation of inviting someone new into your life: take a minute to make a valid judgment, don’t rush, pray about it and make sure it’s right. It will not only save you time but a heartbreak.