By Rae Jefferson
I like movies. I like music. I like art and fun festivals.
But today I’m taking a break from the usual fluff of the arts and entertainment desk to touch on one of the most terrifying topics for someone in my position – sports.
Before I begin, I’d like to issue an apology to all the A&E editors – and females – across the globe. There’s an idea floating around newsrooms that A&E editors would be eaten alive in a courtroom or the Super Bowl press box.
Well, I’m about to wear that stereotype like a million dollar fur coat (Better yet, like Solange’s wedding cape. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, please improve your life and Google it.)
I played basketball and volleyball in high school, and was also a member of the track team. However, I have never really liked football enough to learn about the sport beyond scoring touchdowns. I know the basic rules of the game and can enjoy it in person, but I only recently began to watch televised Baylor games, and I don’t even know where to begin in understanding how college football rankings work.
All of these factors make my recent decision to attend a football pre-game press conference all the more interesting. So here’s a list of things that happen when the football-challenged A&E editor joins the sports desk at a football media event.
1. You realize Baylor has an athletic building. Now that I’ve walked its halls, it seems obvious, but I’ve never had a reason to think sports administration needs a building. I mean, they like grass and outdoors, right?
2. You see how good sports desk truly has it. We ate free food catered in from Rudy’s. Need I say more?
3. You get to see Bryce Petty up close and without a helmet. Funny things come out of that man’s mouth. Lots of lolz.
4. You hear the word “dynamic.” A lot. I guess this is just a really good way of describing players who can do lots of stuff. Everyone was saying it – reporters, players, Coach.
5. You realize you aren’t completely sports illiterate. I understood a pretty good amount of the info that was being discussed by Coach Briles and Petty.
6. You realize you are quite sports illiterate. I was highly confused for a good portion of the press conference.
7. You hear a bunch of questions that may or may not be asking actual things, with words you most certainly do not understand. “Coach, what were the key factors in the improvement of your third down efficiency this week?” Pause. What is third down efficiency, what determines a factor and who is Coach?
8. You get extremely bored. See numbers 6 and 7.
9. You take a Heisman selfie. And you embarrass the sports guys while doing it. And then you make them join you.
10. You get to see football players up close and not sweaty. Hubba, hubba. There wasn’t a lot of brain comprehension, but my eyes were quite satisfied.