By Raylee Foster | Staff Writer
The Baylor community has a culture of ‘ring by spring,’ and trust me, I’m here for it. But it might be smart to consider waiting to live with your significant other until after the ‘I do’s.’
Many sociological journal articles tackle whether living together before being married leads to higher chances of divorce, and almost all conclude that it does. The exact reason for this isn’t known, but the evidence is so clear that it has even received its own title — the cohabitation effect.
A Journal of Family and Marriage study suggests the reason living together before being married leads to divorce is specific to the experience of cohabitation. This essentially means that it’s not because of the types of people who would live together being prone to divorce or because it is a ‘pseudo-marriage’ that impacts the relational timeline. This study shows the experience of living with someone before being married increases the chance of divorce.
I get this probably seems old-fashioned, and maybe it is, but is that such a bad thing?
According to the United States Census Bureau, both divorce and marriage rates have gone down in the past decade, which would seem to be a promising change that could be attributed to the cultural shift to living together before marriage. However, with marriage being seen more as an option and not a requirement in the 21st century, people are waiting until they are older to marry or not doing so at all.
To understand the risks of living together, you have to understand the divorce and marriage rates over time, as well as the reality of how study after study suggests living together is a dangerous choice for the longevity of a future marriage. This Canadian study states that living together before being married makes it twice as likely for the marriage will end in divorce.
So Baylor, with a community pegged for early marriages, I encourage you to consider your options. Though there are many other factors that go into a responsible marriage, some I would say rank much higher than living together before the ring or not, this is something to consider.
Living with your significant other before being married can cause a false perception of what marriage will look like, more so than just dating can, and lead to unmet expectations and later divorce. In the studies referenced, none are longitudinal (over a long period of time) because there are not enough long-lasting marriages from people who lived together to be studied. Let that sink in.
Hangout every day, sleep over once in a while, go on vacations together — no big deal. But draw the line at moving in together full-time before being husband and wife. I’m as big of a ‘ring by spring’ supporter as it gets, but don’t spring into signing an apartment lease together too soon. As the saying goes, good things come to those who wait.
