By Lexie Rodenbaugh | Arts & Life Writer
Since I walked on Baylor’s campus, I’ve been repeatedly told that I’m “so real.” If I tell someone that I failed my calculus test, it’s so real. When I told people that I absolutely hated the first semester of my freshman year, I was being so real.
What I don’t understand about that is, if that’s what being real is to everybody, then what are you guys doing that is “so fake?”
It seems that Baylor’s happy-go-lucky, rainbow-sunshine demeanor is restricting people from telling the truth about their lives, for fear of being judged by the seemingly picture-perfect peers that surround us. This phenomenon seems unique to Baylor.
I truly think it’s very sweet that Baylor students are always so happy to see each other. I love walking into class and seeing two friends scream and hug as if they just came back from war, like we don’t see each other every Tuesday and Thursday. Truthfully, it’s what brought me to Baylor. However, after being here for a year, it sometimes seems more like a facade than a lifestyle.
If you’re always happy and always that excited to start your day, props to you. That’s not my problem here. It’s just the fact that those same people who give off that overly joyful demeanor are the same ones who were telling me “I’m so real,” last year. If that’s what they think being real is, then it begs the question of whether they are being fake or not.
It might be because I’ve spent my life in public schools, and many Baylor students tend to frequent small Christian private schools, but it’s still interesting to me, considering what the Bible says about emotions.
Romans 12:15 says, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”
It’s not a sin to have a bad day, and it’s not your right to judge people who are having a bad day.
I’ll be the first to admit that I had a very hard first semester of my freshman year. I had a transfer application bookmarked on my computer, and every day I’d call my mom, telling her how much I hated Baylor. It was so much different than what I had imagined — the friends weren’t coming as easily as they did in high school, and neither were the grades.
I was feeling lost and sad, and I was very vocal about it. When I went on rush dates with older girls, they would tell me that other freshmen were telling them the same things earlier that week. However, I couldn’t find them. All I saw were huge friend groups taking weekly trips to Dallas, sitting next to each other at football games and baking cookies in the Collins Residence Hall lobby.
How could those very same girls be telling older girls that they felt the same way I did? It’s simple: Baylor students are scared to express their true feelings because they don’t want to scare away potential friends with their misery.
Students, it’s okay to tell people you’re not having a good time. It’s healthy to talk to people, and Lord knows, venting always helps. You’re not scaring anybody away, and you’re not a burden to anyone. They probably feel the same way, and they’re praying somebody else will say it first.
I’ll never forget the sighs of relief I’d breathe when someone else expressed that they felt the same way I did. A moment of, “OK, I’m not alone. Everything’s going to be fine.” Imagine if we could get that out of the way immediately instead of beating around the bush.
The thing is, you might not get to know someone deeply enough for them to tell you they feel the same way, and that’s okay. Being honest about your life plants a seed in people’s heads that maybe they don’t have to pretend.
The nice thing about those Baylor students who are so happy every day is that they want to make you feel that joy, too. After rushing a sorority, finding my people and changing my major, I finally understand how they are always so happy, but I will never lie to you and tell you that it was easy to get to this point.
My point is, if you’re scared to be real with people, nobody will be real with you and then you’re both being fake. Deep, long-lasting friendships will never come out of small talk and niceties, so try telling people how you really feel.
