By Giselle Lee | Staff Writer
Every time I meet someone new, an irrational fear of mine materializes.
Although I am an extrovert by heart, eye contact is not my strong suit. There is something about looking into another person’s eyes for more than ten seconds that unlocks an internal panic, my heart would send thumps so loud as my brain scrambled to find the right words.
This is particularly embarrassing as I seem to converse perfectly fine with a stranger, yet my inner monologue would be focused on when to look away instead of what the person is saying.
Talk about being fully present.
Eyes are our ways of knowing someone before they can even open their mouths; after all, it is the windows to our soul. However, to me, eye contact feels invasive. It’s as though I am stripped away of my surface-level personality, jokes and all, in exchange for a more vulnerable side of myself.
According to Science Insights, eye contact evolved in humans for the purpose of signaling for potential danger or aggression. Our nervous systems today still react to direct gazes as a physiological trigger of discomfort.
Whilst I don’t have much to hide, it’s still daunting to have another person see you for who you truly are, especially during times of struggle.
During my freshman year at Baylor, some of my best friends noticed I was overwhelmed, but when I tried explaining how I felt, I couldn’t even look them in the eye, but rather ended up shutting down in response.
Though it may be difficult, eye contact is the ‘Hail Mary’ of communication skills; a rather vital one, too. Research shows that eye contact is a direct indicator of confidence and trust, which can also lead to empathy and emotional connection in personal relationships, helping people to better understand one another.
Thankfully, like any lingering cough or cold, overcoming a fear of eye contact can be improved. One tip is to talk about something you are extremely passionate about; if you feel strongly about a certain topic or subject, you are more willing to express yourself and hold someone’s gaze for a longer period.
Full disclosure: eye contact is uncomfortable, but absolutely necessary. As you enter this academic year, the unfamiliarity of somewhere or someone new might make you shy away from the idea of using nonverbal communication.
Even if it’s easier to avoid the look of your professor when they ask a question, or to space out during a discussion about your future with your peers, by being brave and developing your eye contact abilities, you could be opening doors for stronger relationships and greater opportunities.
