By Foster Nicholas | Sports Editor
To honor the great Braden Murray, the man behind ranking vegetables and fruits a few years ago, this is the first of several outlandish rankings that are sure to hit the interweb at some point in the not-so-distant future.
Since this article only discusses fast food joints, I will not include the all-time great wing spots, Wingstop and Buffalo Wild Wings, even though they are superior to just about every restaurant that serves wings.
Here are my fast food chicken chain rankings from worst to first:
Honorable mentions: All the chains not mentioned that have locations in Waco, I haven’t been to. Oh, and KFC, because that’s not in Waco and would be at the bottom of the list anyway. Now, here are those actual rankings.
No. 8. Golden Chick – 0.5/5
I will never be going back to Golden Chick again. In my first and only visit to this place, the chicken was slimy, sticky and gummy — the absolute worst quality of any chicken. I get that there are several around Texas, but one bad spot with subpar management has truly taken this place into the deep dwellings of “do not eat here.”
Nos. 6 & 7. Bush’s Chicken – 3/5 & Church’s Texas Chicken – 2.5/5
Before actually plopping these places onto paper and seeing how the chicken chains stack up, Bush’s was going to be at the top. Unfortunately, I couldn’t reasonably do that when it is so similar to Church’s and Golden Chick. The three are nearly identical in menu and product; there’s just a new logo on the building.
The issue with these locations is similar to Golden Chick. The best Bush’s can compete with any chicken chain in the world, but the worst could force you to make a call to the FDA. Freshman year “Bush’s pushes” were elite, but because it is so similar to Church’s there has to be a knock.
Bush’s headquarters does happen to land in Waco, which makes the locations nearby a solid bet, but of the 1,055 Yelp reviews (2.7 stars), I’m inclined to assure you that non-Waco locations have some issues. When comparing the two, Bush’s serves larger chicken while Church’s has more menu options. At the end of the day, I’m going to get chicken, not some fancy side dish, so Bush’s takes No. 6 while Church’s settles into No. 7.
No. 5. Chick-fil-A – 3.5/5
This restaurant is the No. 1 selling chicken restaurant in the nation for a reason. It’s good, but dang, is it getting boring? The sandwiches are solid and the “nuggs” are fine. Breakfast would put this spot on the map if it opened tomorrow for the first time. Yeah, the hospitality is great and all, but it’s still so bland.
Don’t get me wrong, the waffle fries are solid and if it’s the only spot open for lunch then there wouldn’t be any moaning and groaning. I like the spicy sandwich, but it isn’t really spicy. The pickles make the sandwich but I think I’ve lost the Chick-fil-A love since it’s so accessible on campus.
No. 4. Popeyes – 3.5/5
I have yet to make my way to the new Waco Popeyes, but from the locations I’ve been to, this is usually a safe road trip stop. Popeyes is always up there with great variety on the menu plus the fact that the chicken sandwiches could win a one-on-one with anyone on the right night.
My knock on this spot would be some lackluster workers and the fact that spicy chicken just means red and never actually has a kick. Those cajun fries are nice, though.
No. 3. Dave’s Hot Chicken — 4/5
Spicy chicken is my thing. Period. And nobody serves up a sandwich or tender destined to take away your senses for 20 minutes quite like Dave’s. The reason this spot isn’t No. 1 is because it’s expensive and you’ve got to spread out visits otherwise it’ll get old, but I guess that’s the same with every restaurant.
If you’re in for a kick, Dave’s is the place for you. That’s all.
No. 2. Slim Chickens 4/5
I hadn’t heard of this “jawn” until last year and have been pleasantly surprised in my visits after a Target shopping trip. Although it’s a bit pricey, the sauces are top tier and the tendies are always hot. Plus, they offer the best rewards out of anywhere on this list.
There are a variety of options, yet they keep it easy with a chicken-only menu. I would compare the joint to No. 1 on the list in terms of chicken quality, but the side options lean heavily in favor of No. 1 since I haven’t been overly impressed with Slim Chickens’ sides, although there are way more choices.
No. 1. Raising Cane’s 4.5/5
And to no one’s surprise, Raising Cane’s takes the cake (or chicken, I guess). Cane’s does simple better. I have never had a poor experience and the quality is top-tier. The sides are nearly perfect, but double toast instead of slaw, please. Cane’s sauce is the best sauce from any chain. Get outta here Chick-fil-A sauce, you’re vastly overrated.
There it is — the best and worst of fast food chicken.
