Disney princesses are idolized for their enchanting love stories among evil forces. They are known for their poise as well as magnificent dresses and hair. However, the princesses’ hair is the only thing I envy about them.

Young girls are told they deserve to be a princess, but I prefer the peasant life.

Cinderella is portrayed as the luckiest girl to transform from servant into beautiful princess. She finds Prince Charming and falls in love, but that is after she has changed everything about herself.

Prince Charming did not meet the girl in rags who scrubs floors and takes verbal abuse from her stepmother. Cinderella would be my role model if she had dumped her water bucket on her stepmom and left to find a paying job. Instead, Cinderella taught me to conform to the upper socioeconomic class if I want to find my “true love.”

Prince Charming also bothers me because he cannot remember Cinderella’s face. It seems like he spent too much time at Scruffy Murphy’s before the ball to be coherent.

The Cinderella method to get a guy at Baylor would be to dress up for each class. The girls who are more put together have a better chance of catching Prince Charming’s eye. As dashing as the functioning alcoholic Prince Charming is, I’ll stick to my Nike shorts and oversized T-shirt.

Ariel is a hopeless romantic who wants to find love and gain legs. She watched Prince Eric for several days and knew what time he went to the beach to play with his dog. Arial seems like a stage-five clinger to me, but she does get her prince in the end. The Little Mermaid taught me stalking is acceptable if you really like the guy.

At Baylor, Arial’s method is something few would admit too. While walking to class, you pass an attractive person that you may or may not know. If you take the same path the next class period in hopes of seeing that person again, you have succumbed to the Arial method.

Arial would most likely take it a step further and notice any Greek letters or sports affiliation to Facebook stalk later. Facebook messages are one of the creepiest ways to initiate conversations, so everyone should say no to the Arial method.

Ariel, as well as Jasmine, is rarely seen with something covering her midriff. Multiple Halloweens as a child were spent arguing with my mother because she claimed the Jasmine costume was not appropriate. Now my desire to be Jasmine has dissipated, but plenty of girls use her costume as an excuse to dress like an exotic dancer.

Disney princesses, as a whole, taught me I should always have a helper to do everything for me. Cinderella has rodents and birds, Arial has sea friends and Snow White has seven dwarfs she bosses around. I have sang to the stray cats of Waco for quite some time and not one of them has offered to sew me a dress.

It seems fair to me that new members of an organization should have duties to help older members. For example, they could clean older member’s houses. Girls are always told they deserve to be treated like a princess, so I shouldn’t have to clean my house.

Disney created these princesses to be idolized for their success in creating a special image, but the princesses never leave their old life until they have a prince to depend on. There is no other story line besides finding their true love and promptly getting married. Plenty of girls eat these story lines up, but I’m not searching for a Prince Charming any time soon.

Caroline Lindstrom is a junior journalism major from Carrollton. She is a reporter for The Lariat.