You are not everyone’s cup of tea, that is OK

By Julia Vergara | Staff Writer

The best piece of advice I have ever come across is, “Be who you are. You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK.”

The phrase concludes a longer quote that talks about how you shouldn’t waste your time trying to convince people that aren’t “your people” – or people that just don’t get you – that you have value, because no matter how hard you try, they are going to miss it completely. And you have to be OK with that.

This advice didn’t even come from an important figure or role model in my life. It just popped up randomly on my Facebook news feed one day. For some reason, it stuck with me.

As an undeniable people-pleaser, I have spent my life going above and beyond trying to convince people to like me. All throughout elementary school and middle school, nothing bothered me more than when I could not get along with someone for whatever reason. Because of this, I spent many years trying to be whoever people wanted to be around, someone people wanted to be friends with. That was pretty exhausting, to say the least.

I was a pushover. I would let whoever wanted to make decisions and just went along with whatever plans they had. I would go out of my way to impress people. I would buy a bunch of candy to hand out to classmates on Halloween, Christmas, Valentines Day –– even on my own birthday, sometimes. However, even with all that extra effort, it wasn’t enough.

I remember my best friend in high school telling me a girl in our class called me annoying because I was “too happy all the time.” Just knowing somebody thought that bothered me, and I stressed, wondering if other people saw me as annoying, too. Looking back at it now, I know I should not have been so worried about one thing one person said. In hindsight, now I know to just say, “I wasn’t her cup of tea.”

And the truth is, not everyone is going to get you, and not everyone will like you. It’s likely that you won’t like everyone you come across, either. The point of this quote is not to say it’s OK to be mean or hostile to the people that aren’t “your people.” The point is that you shouldn’t go out of your way to please and impress them.

The quote explains, “Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good health.”

I know firsthand that trying to please every single person takes a lot of energy. The quote advises that instead of wasting this energy on these people that are not “your people,” you should invest that energy into the ones that are –– those who recognize and appreciate who you are.

After seeing this quote and taking it to heart, I agree 100 percent. Life becomes a lot easier when you stop trying to constantly impress and instead focus on the people you don’t have to impress.

The quote says even though the world is filled with people who will not like you just because you are you, there are also people who will “love you fiercely” for exactly who you are – and those people are your cup of tea.

After seeing this quote and taking it to heart, I agree 100 percent. Life becomes a lot easier when you stop trying to constantly impress and instead focus on the people you don’t have to impress.

Julia Vergara is a sophomore journalism major from Katy.